it's suck!

yeah. i mean it. live in others expectation? what u say? what u feel? i keep avoiding people. but it seems like they just don't understand.

me, sitting here like an bisu-idiot person in this worlwide. i try to laugh. try to make ppl laugh. try to smile as sweet as i can. but deep inside. i noe it's fake. fake smile that just splattered across my face.

here i am. not blaming ppl around me. i noe they just want the best for me. i admit. sometimes i expect more from myself. sometimes it just beyond my limit. but it just get into me. just can't avoid it. totally wanna fuck myself.

i'm really disappointed with myself.

what can i do now is just sit. pray. hoping for brighter days. redha.

disappoinment is a part of life (: